Ava's Personal Hell
by Taw2541
Summary: A slightly different route to 4x12, in which Purgatory shows Ava Sharpe and her girlfriend, Sara Lance, her deepest fear.


**This is a slightly different route of Ava's time in purgatory, honestly, 4x12 wasn't a bad episode but it just could have been much better and more psychological. I refuse to believe that all of Ava's anxieties and fears are all centered around her relationship with Sara. The story picks up right after Sara and Ava are finished discussing getting old together, after sitting on various mattresses.**

* * *

Purgatory

After Ava kisses Sara as they began lying down on the mattress, Purgatory suddenly brought them to another place; this time it was presenting itself as the store's inventory storage section. Sara and Ava look at the store's inventory, they noticed several large boxes for life-sized dolls that went all the way down the hall as far as the eye could see.

"Okay, I'm really starting to wonder why all my personal fears are all locked into a shopping store?" Ava asked.

"Maybe, you are secretly afraid of mattresses and build your own furniture," Sara said as she hoped humor would help alleviate their particularly perilous situation as Ava gave her a look that said you're not helping look. "Sorry." As they began walking down the store, Ava stopped suddenly as did Sara when she watched her girlfriend come to a halt.

"Oh, God," Ava said in horror.

"Ava, what is it?" However, it suddenly became clear what troubled her. The life-sized doll boxes were all filled with A.V.A.s; clones of Ava herself for different events. Sara could see so many different versions of Ava including an A.V.A. for sports and exercise, one as a cleaning maid, another was police cop, a scientist A.V.A., and Sara noticed one that was labeled "Sexy Ava" that she had to admit to herself was particularly eye-catching.

"So, I'm guessing we're now dealing with your issues with being a clone?" Sara asked.

"Guess so," Ava said sadly.

Ava stood there for a minute, soaking in what she was seeing. After a while, Sara crossed her arms, as if she was waiting for something before finally speaking her mind. "So, are we going to talk now?" Sara asked.

"Sara, please give me a minute," Ava asked.

"Look, Ava, I get that you don't really want to talk about stuff like this but we are running out of time before we're both dead, so please talk!" Sara proclaimed.

"Okay, fine. Ever since I found out I was clone ... that my whole life was created for the Time Bureau, I have had this terrible thought in the back of my head that I've been trying to not think about." Ava explained as she began sitting down.

"What thought?" Sara asked in concern.

"That ... that I'm not real. That everything that I am, that everything that I do is just a part of my design ... that Rip used to create me." Ava said reluctantly.

"Ava ... that's, I'm sure that's not true." Sara said putting her hand on her lover's shoulder.

"Can you be so certain, Sara? Because I'm not! Ava said as she got up, and began walking frantically before turning to Sara. "Look around you Sara, this ... everything that you are seeing is just a simplified version of a horrible truth that I have been ignoring. That I come from a place in time, where any man, woman, or child could have me as whatever they want, whatever they want me to be and not what I might want to be. I could be made for anything and not just as some employe for whatever job they need me for, I could be foot soldier, a director, a ... a girlfriend." She said her words filled with an angry panic before sounding more quiet and painful.

"Wait, what do you mean by that?" Sara asked.

"Sara ... what if, just what if I was personally designed for you specifically? What if, everything I feel about you ... is part of my programming?" Ava asked as she began tearing up.

"Ava, that's crazy?" Sara plainly stated.

"Is it Sara, is it really? All my memories before I joined the Time Bureau were fake and manufactured, whose's to say what I feel about you isn't the same. Hell, Rip even told me that he recruited several Ava clones before and after they were killed, who's to say that when we first meet was actually when "we" first met. Rip cared about the Legends, you most of all, who's to say that making me wasn't just some way to control you and keep you loyal." Ava said frantically.

"Ava," Sara said sadly.

As Ava and Sara stood there, suddenly the packaged A.V.A clones came out of their boxes and slowly began lining up together.

"Huh, I think we're about to have a sequel to Attack of the Clones," Sara said, as the A.V.A.s attacked her and her Ava. At first, Sara and Ava fight off the clones but the fight soon became much harder as they were outnumbered and overtime fatigue began to set in. Eventually, Ava stated the obvious. "We need to retreat," Ava yelled.

"Yeah, I had enough of this last year," Sara replied.

As Ava and Sara grabbed each other's hands and began running, more and more A.V.A. clones began appearing out their boxes. Until eventually Sara and Ava reach the front of the store again as the A.V.A. slowly began to march towards them. Looking at Ava, Sara began to think this might be the end as no matter what she would say she might not be able to fully resolve Ava's issues with being a clone.

"Ava, look at me," Sara said as Ava began looking at her. "Listen, about what you said about not being real or how you might feel about me might be manufactured, I ... I can't deny that's it's possible. But there's one thing you're not accounting for." Sara stated.

"What's that?" Ava asked nervously as her clones approached closer.

"My love for you. What I feel for you isn't manufactured." Sara stated.

"Sara, you can't." Ava tried to say but was interrupted.

"No, you listen to me! Rip could be a cold bastard but even he wouldn't do something like this! And, even if it was true, Rip or some stupid clone programming didn't make me fall in love with you, nobody could make me love you other than myself! Sara took her hand and clasped Ava's face. "You told me that between the two of us we don't need anybody to share our lives with and your right. It ... it is about want, and I want you. I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone else in my life." Sara passionately stated as they were now surrounded by A.V.A. clones.

"Sara, I ... I still don't think I'm real, that everything about is just man-made." Ava tearfully replied.

"Of course you're real, we're stuck in Purgatory together, don't you think that you wouldn't be here if you didn't have something of a soul? But it's not just the soul that makes us who we are, it's also when we change and what we change into overtime. Look at me, I started out as a slutty girl who had an affair with her sister's boyfriend, to a killer of the League of Assassins, to Captain of the Waverider, a Legend, and now a girlfriend to a beautiful, bossy, and incredible woman who is currently struggling with an existential crisis." Sara desperately says.

"Babe," Ava says quietly as the clones were in hand's reach of them.

"As long as you are doing what you believe you want to do and not what others want to do then that's real enough to me and that should be real enough for you!" Sara yelled as Ava then kissed her as the clones began to grab them.

* * *

The Waverider's Medical Bay

Sara then woke up in the Waverider again, getting off the patient table she looked at Ava still unconscious worried that she may have failed to save her love. Gradually, however, Ava woke up and began smiling at Sara; which caused her to get closer to Ava's face until Gary Green got just as close between the two.

"Hi, Director Sharpe, welcome back," Gray said in his usual gleeful tone.

"Personal space please Gary," Ava said as she typically did, annoyed by Gary's antics.

* * *

Several minutes later

"You know for a second I thought I lost you in there on the other side," Sara says, as Ava changes into some new clothes.

"You weren't the only one," Ava replied.

"So, are you gonna be okay?" Sara asked, as Ava sat down and took a long deep breath.

"I don't know, I mean ... I'll probably never really know I guess, whatever parts of me were created and which just came over time. I suppose I'll just have to learn to live with it like you've learned to live with your issues." She said.

"Well considering what you know about mine, you know that's not always easy." Said replied with a little sadness.

"I like to think that I help you with that," Ava said a small smile.

"You do, more than you know," Sara says reassuringly.

Ava pulled Sara in closer by putting her hands on her hips. "One more thing, programming or not, loving you ... loving you will always be my choice from here on out." Ava said lovingly.

"Aww, your gonna make me blush," Sara said sarcastically after being genuinely touched by Ava's sentiments.

"Shut up," Ava said embarrassingly.

"Make me," Sara demanded, as they began kissing.

"You know, we should probably talk about whether or not either of us wants kids," Ava asked as she broke apart from the kiss.

"I think we've covered enough major discussions for one day, let's save that one for later," Sara said, as Ava seemingly agreed by quickly returning to their kiss.

* * *

**Question: What other kinds of issues do you think Ava might have due to her clone status?**


End file.
